The Golden Nox

X-Men: Mutant Academy: Part 34


poster:Angelface

Posted on: 12:27 am on Oct. 3, 2002

This is what the second time in a week I've done this? This is SUPPOSED to be ANNIE. *sigh*

There was a rustling sound and I head the sound of fur brushing past something. “George, go get Dan to feed you, I don’ wanna,” I said without opening my eyes.

“I do believe you have me mistaken for someone else.”

Hearing the cultured voice, I popped an eye open, and propped myself up on the cushy couch. “Yeah, guess I forgot where I was.”

For about a split second I had thought I was back in Arizona, in my nice big bed. Biggest problems were who was going to feed Big George, and who’s bed Hobbes was going to share. I missed my dog and my kitty, always willing to be hugged, complained to, and share their saliva.

Instead I was in New York, unsure about whom in my family to talk to, and with a boyfriend in the hospital. Which was, of course, the reason I had been sleeping in Hank’s office.

“I deduced that, thank you. You know they don’t call me a genius for nothing,” he shot me a fangy grin as he picked up Angelica’s violin off his desk.

“Whatcha need that for?” I asked.

“Angelica is returning to her bed, and I believe she will sleep better if she can see her violin.”

“Of course,” I nodded as he returned to the main lab.

I sat, stretching and rubbing the sleep from my eyes before folding up the blanket I had used. Sarah could probably do it better, but it still looked fine. When I was done straightening up, I poked my head out the door.

The only people in the lab I could see were Cam, Kurt and Cassie. Hank must have gone with Angelica, and I had no idea where Jean was. That was fine with me, she wanted to ship me off to bed last night even though Kurt could stay. Hank ‘compromised’ and let me sleep on his couch, I wasn’t in the lab, but I was close enough.

I walked quietly across the floor, to Cameron, I didn’t want to wake him up if he was still asleep. I peered over the bed-slash-table, trying to see if he was awake. I was just about to decide he was asleep, when his eyes popped open.

I jumped at his sudden alertness, “Morning.”

"Hey..." he rasped, and smiled wide. "I don't feel like I had a really bad toke this morning. I can actually breath without coughing. Angelica has quite a gift."

“She’s got a useful one, and I can safely say, I’m glad.”

Cammo nodded, and looked to her. "Was it just me, or was Max with you when I was waking up?"

I nodded back, “Yeah, he got the job of calming down the hysterical girlfriend. He was a rock.”

Cammo smiled then. "Wow. I didn't think..." He shrugged, looking like he didn't want to say something stupid. "That was cool of him."

“Yup, he’s a good friend, prevents car accidents and holds your hair when you’re throwing up.”

I made a mental note to make sure he got some cookies, he deserved some after dealing with me last night.

He chuckled, then winced. "Ow... okay, not quite ready for laughing..."

“Aww, poor Cammo,” I cooed kissing his forehead.

"Ooh, sugar for Cammo..."

I was torn between blushing and thwapping him, “Yes, but he can’t have too much ‘til he’s all better.”

Cammo moaned. "No faaair."

I grinned, “Annie might be persuaded otherwise, but you just never know.”

One of his hands curled around my elbows gently. "Oh.... what do I have to do?"

“You ok for sitting up? Don’t do it if you can’t, I don’t want you getting more hurt,” I said quickly.

"I think so..." He edged forward slowly, and then winced. "Ow... okay I can do this..." He curled forward and took a breather.

I winced for him, "Don't, if you can't..."

He looked up. "I can."

Huzzah, it’s the tough guy ‘I can so jump out of the tree and on to the trampoline with out getting hurt’ attitude, I know and tolerate. “Ok,” I backed off a little bit, not a lot, but a little.

He straightened, and sighed, looking a little triumphant. "There. Not so hard." He wavered. "Oh crap... gotta lie down..."

I stepped forward and helped him go slowly back down. When he was settled I gave him a little kiss, “You do know the Village People wrote a song about guys like you.”

"Wuh...?"

“Macho, macho man, got to be a macho, macho man,” I threw in a few disco moves, before stopping, “Never mind.”

He blinked. "Very nice. Do you know the Milkshake too?"

“Is that the linked hand wavey one?”

He laughed and sang in a very rough voice, "Do the shake, do the sha-yay-yake, the Milkshake the Milkshake... do the shake!" He coughed as he laughed and pointed at her. "And that's the only singing I'm doing ever."

“Oh come on now, I’m worse than you but I haven’t let that stop me from torturing those around me.”

Cammo smiled. "Well I do sing in the shower.”

“Would spraying you with the hose work? The cold water might do you some good,” I poked his shoulder teasingly.

"No, it would make me chilly," he said.

“And then I’d be obligated to warm you up…”

He chuckled. "Sounds fun!"

I smiled, and sort of sighed. I wanted to hug him and be all pathetic and cuddly, this was the longest I’d gone without some sort of lengthy physical contact with him, even before we were dating.

His smile was replaced with a concerned look, “Something wrong?”

I shrugged, taking his hand, “I just want you to be better.”

He pulled my hand towards his lips, kissing it, “I do too.”

(Edited by Angelface at 12:31 am on Oct. 3, 2002)


poster: Jen

Posted on: 11:47 pm on Oct. 3, 2002



Annie was walking past the rec room, she was heading up to her room, to change and rid her mouth of the furry feeling. When she saw Sarah perched in a window seat, alternately tracing patterns on the glass and taking long swigs from the bottle in her hand. From the looks of things, she’s been there quite a while. Annie approached cautiously, deciding on the direct approach. “How much have you had to drink?”

Sarah peered at the liquor bottles at her feet, "One... two…" and shook the half-empty one in her hand, "Bottles." She peered up at her green-haired friend. Giving up of focusing, she took another swig. "Not nearly enough"

"Are you sure about that? 'Cause I'm sure the surgeon general would disagree with you there."

Sarah nodded vigorously, almost falling from her perch on the windowsill. "Yup. I can still feel stuff. Healing. Factors. Suck."

“Why don’t you want to feel anything?”

“Feelings just get you in trouble. Keep it cas – cas – casual and everything’s fine. He shoulda done that. He shoulda. If he’d done that we’d – we’d…” Sarah trailed off and her tears began to flow.

Annie wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed lightly. "Did something happen with you and Max?"

“He promised that it was enough. He * promised *. He said it was all he needed and now he hates me and doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

"Sare, he *loves* you, I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding, I don't think Max is capable of hating you."

“No. He does. He hates me. Hates me. He changed the rules and I can’t… He can’t change the rules.”

"Have you talked to him about this...this rule...changing?"

“He – he – he said he was wasting his time.”

"But last night you guys were all romantic date-y. He didn't think he was wasting his time then."

Sarah sniffled. “No, but then Cammo got hurt and I got mad and… I wish I could take it back. I didn’t mean it. He was right.”

Annie gave Sarah a little squeeze, "I'm sure if you just tell him that you didn't mean it, he'll understand. You're a large chunk of his universe; I doubt he'll be able to just cut you out of it over some silly argument. Maybe he was just stressed about his friend being hurt, Cam's better now, he should be more relaxed."

“Maybe. I doubt it though. Unless I say it.”

Annie looked puzzled, "Well of course you can say you didn't mean it, you've said so about five times to me already."

“No. I love you. He wants to hear me say ‘I love you’ it and…” Annie jumped as Sarah snarled and hurled the bottle against the wall. “Why would he want me back? Three fucking words. Three words and I can’t say them. I just stopped feeling like I was gonna be sick when he said them.”

Annie sighed, she knew a little bit what that felt like, "You do love him, don't you? Or if you don't like 'love', care about him immensely in a romantic way?"

“I dunno. I don’t want to be with anybody else. Just being near him makes me happy. I like * him*. Is that what love’s supposed to be like? I mean we got all that pheromone stuff going on. How am I supposed to know what’s pheromones and what’s really us? What if it’s all chemical? Then the words are a lie.”

"I dunno, about what love is really. Cam, said he loved me after one date, granted he had a near death experience and was thinking about us in a more than friendly way longer... But when he was hurt like that and I had to imagine not seeing him everyday, he's just really important to me and I get squishy around him so I gotta figure that's sort of what love is supposed to be. As for you and Max, it’s more than just pheromones. Chemicals aren't the only reason he gets all glinty eyed when you walk in the room."

"Nope. That's cause I give a great blow job."

Annie bit her lip trying not to laugh, "But Max is pretty much guaranteed head, and what ever the hell else you two do, by the chemical reaction you two can't control. The huggy, affectionate, less sexual stuff, isn't forced, it’s because you want to have more than a slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am, relationship. If there wasn't something more to it you wouldn't feel obligated to be with each other outside the bedroom. He's more than your chemically bound blow up doll."

“At least he was. He doesn’t want to even talk to me now.”

"Have you tried?"

“No,” She grimaced, pointing at the broken bottle. “I was hanging with José.”

"And I'm sure Mr. Cuervo enjoyed your company, before you threw him across the room. But maybe we should get you upstairs, you can take a shower, relax a bit and then you can go talk to Max."

Sarah nodded dumbly and got to her feet, a bit unsteadily. Annie was amazed she could stand at all. “Maybe you could talk to him first? Tell him I’m sorry.” She looked up, biting her lip. “He’s stubborn.”

"Of course, I'll bring him some cookies to soften him up, but it'll probably mean more from you."

“Right. You know, life was easier when I didn’t give a damn.”


poster: cammogirl

Posted on:12:00 pm on Oct. 6, 2002

After Annie had left, I lay there, staring at the ceiling, wondering how long it would take me to get out of this damned infirmary. I'd been in here for a week at a time before, and I was fully aware how incredibly boring it could be. I silently wished that Annie wouldn't be away for too long, cause she made it rather bareable.

Now I was sitting here, listening to the tune of various heart monitors, preferring to be anywhere else and feeling rather crappy at the same time. Bleh.

After a while of this sort of brooding and moping, Jean waltzed in, checking this and that, silent and efficient. I hoped that she'd hum something, anything, just to get my mind off of where I was. She smiled warmly at me as she noticed I was up.

"Hello you," she said, strolling over and checking on various bits and pieces that were attached to me. "Hmm... you're healing rather quickly."

"I suppose I have Angelica to thank for that?"

She eyed me with a sparkling look of amusement. "You don't sound too pleased about that..."

"No, I'm thrilled," I said. "I gotta remind myself to get her a bunch of flowers as thanks."

Jean smiled.

The door to the infirmary opened again, and this time the enviable frame of her husband strolled in, looking over to me and smiling. Wow, it was my day for notable visits.

"Hey Scott," Jean said.

"How is everyone?" He asked.

"Well, Angelica is just getting some rest, it seems, and she should be fine. Kurt has been back and forth checking on Cassandrea, who..." Jean frowned. "She's unchanged."

Silently, Cyke put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. "Remember that Xavier said he'd try some things."

Jean nodded and turned away, striding towards her lab with determination. She was like that. She hated not being able to help someone, and she knew her psychic abilities were nothing compared to Xavier's, so she was unable to help Cassie this time. I could tell all that in the flicker of pain in her eyes - she was like a big sister to me these days, and you don't get trained by someone for a year and nearly get killed together without learning some things about them.

Cyclops sank down into the chair next to my bed, sighing deeply. "She's going to be in that lab all night."

I nodded, smiling faintly.

He looked to me. "So are you really feeling better?"

"Yeah," I said. "Better than I did yesterday anyway."

"Good. Saw Annie was in."

"Slept here last night, apparently," I replied. "And Max was here too... I didn't realise I'd made that many friends." I looked meek. He knew of my solitary nature, it was something he understood himself. Cyke grinned at that.

"Can't be a loner here for long, Cam," he said, patting my shoulder gently. "Take a look at Logan."

I smiled wide at that. "Yeah. He practically has his own fan club."

We both laughed at that. Cyke cleared his throat then, looking serious.

"You got that look on your face," I said.

"What look?"

"That look that means you're going to tell me something about the X-Men, something I might not like."

Cyke now looked rather amused. "Well... it is something about the X-Men, but if you'd just shut up and let me talk I could have told you by now..."

"Sorry... go on." I looked cheeky.

"Well, as I was saying..." He pushed his glasses up his nose, even though they were made to sit tight. "I had a talk to the head team members last night, and considering your valour and actions of the field, we want to promote you to a full team member."

I blinked, utterly shocked, the air sucked out of my chest and not because of my condition. "Wuh...?!"

Cyke grinned widely at me and slapped me on the shoulder as gently as he could. "You're old enough, and you've proved yourself. Everyone's agreed, and as long as you agree..."

"Of COURSE!" I rasped with glee.

Cyke squeezed my shoulder, looking like a proud father. "Congratulations, Cam. You're a bonafide X-Man."


poster: nacey

Posted on:3:24 pm on Oct. 6, 2002

There are points in my life where have frightened myself. The first time was a little while after I'd gained my physical animalistic traits. I had been at school, and one of the more irritating jerks in my year was picking on me for not playing basketball with the rest of the boys in PE. My parents had written me a note full of bullshit yet again, because they knew about my mutation and didn't want me getting into trouble by popping balls with my claws or having an ear ripped off, or worse - having to wear any revealing uniforms. I was all wrapped up like it was winter, and sweating like a dog. The head Jerk came over to me and started pulling at my clothes, questioning me on why I didn't play basketball with the rest of them. The Mutant Thing was still just emerging, but he knew of it. He yanked and tugged at my clothes, pushing me around. I was only 12, and really wiry.

"Why don't you act like the rest of us, Stockard?" he said. "What are you hiding, you little shit?"

Push became shove, and his hands balled up the collar of my thick coat, and one of his friends grabbed the woollen cap off my head with a tittering laugh.

My ears sprang out, pointed, spotted and furry.

They stared at me like I was an abomination. The leader of the pack of bastards, Jared, clenched his teeth and glared at me. He didn't say anything but the entire group had come to an immediate and complete understanding; they were going to beat the shit out of me until I died.

The punches began, and pain soon started swamping over me. It's funny what pain does to you. It pushes you... it stretches you and wrings you and makes your entire being cry out for something, and so you search yourself, look for anything - an idea, a reason, a rhyme, that could get you out of the situation you are in. My mind found nothing, so my body did the only thing it could do in the situation. It snapped.

That's when the animal was born. It raged from within, surging in my body and my bones. Anger rallied, and my arms whirled about me, throwing off the pain; except the pain wasn't pain - it was the boys about me. Claws ripped and blood flowed...

And then it swept away from me just as quickly as I looked down to my hands - smothered in sticky red liquid. I looked about me. The guys that had been picking on me clutched their arms and bodies, and they ran as fast as they could, flinging insults back at me and looking terrified.

I realised that I could have *killed* them at that moment, and I hated myself for it. I never wanted to hurt anyone, and now I was covered in blood. The worst thing was that I had utterly *no* control over it. Because of that moment, I was enrolled into Xavier's School for the Gifted.

Looking back, I know that those boys were lucky. I was a mere slip of a thing compared to the animal that I'd become, the raging thing that could kill and destroy so very easily if I needed to. I chose not to, and so I was harmless. I was happiest when I was harmless.

Right now, I scared myself. I wasn't happy, and I wasn't harmless. I was null, void, empty. I wasn't angry, and I wasn't hurt. Those things were good for people who had something to care about. I had nothing, because I had told Sarah that I didn't want to be with her anymore. I didn't think about what a stupid fucking thing that was to do, because there was no room to be sad about it; I would be so sad that there would be no return, and right now I just wanted to survive.

I went to the forest, and I sat there on a long in a clearing where many came to while away hours. I sat there and let the animal take over. I didn't think about human things, cause they hurt me far too much. I just sat there and became a part of the scenery - spotted and hidden to everything else, in my mind, even though a human could spot me very easily (especially considering I was still clothed).

I smelt her coming a mile away. She reeked of freshly baked cookies and girl's perfume, and Cameron. When she finally came close, I surpressed a growl.

"News travels fast huh?"

She shrugged, "Sarah was being a chatty."

Coldness swept through me at hearing that name, and I grit my teeth, huddling tighter to myself. I didn't want to talk.

"I take it you aren't in the mood to explain why I just tucked her in to bad at 11 am," Annie sighed.

I glanced at her. "You really need to ask?"

"I got out of her what I could, but she sounded a bit like Rainman."

I growled and gripped the log under me, claws sinking deep. "It's over, there's nothing more to tell."

"You're kidding me, right? You two are like...like... Well I can't hink of who or what you're like right at this second, but you guys can't just be over."

I looked at her darkly. "It was a waste of time."

"You guys were all happy, how was that a waste of time?"

"I wasn't happy that she never let me know how she felt. How can you possibly understand what that's like?"

"Max, you're talking to a girl who's had a boyfriend for nigh on two days now. And just because she didn't use words doesn't mean you couldn't tell how she felt?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, gritting my teeth. "You don't get it do you?" I sighed. "I know that she felt it. Of course I knew, I knew all the damned time. She wouldn't say it, she wouldn't make that step for me." I put my head in my hands, feeling like I was going crazy. "I needed it, damn it! I don't want the world, just that simple little thing!"

I felt her hand on my shoulder, "Max, its not that easy for her, she isn't very good with words, unless you know its a threat, she was just afraid."

"You don't understand," I said. "Do you know what she said? What she said exactly? She wasn't afraid, she was flat out crushing my heart under her fucking heel!"

"What did she say?"

The pain that I had been avoiding rushed up and overwhelmed me, and my claws sunk into wood again. "I told her she was afraid. Afraid of caring about people. She said she wasn't, and I said, 'When was the last time you told me you loved me', and you know what? You know what she fucking well said?" I narrowed my eyes again, the hot splash of tears spilling down my face. "She said she wasn't afraid of that. She said she didn't like lying to me. Lying to me, Annie. You tell me what that fucking well means, and tell me I'm not wasting my time being totally and utterly in love with a girl like that."

Annie's arms did their best to wrap around me in an akward hug, "Max you were right, she was afraid, but she was mostly afraid that she didn't know the difference between the freaky chemical shit and her own feelings."

I didn't want a hug. I didn't want to talk about this any more. I didn't push Annie away though.

"There's being afraid, and there's deliberately breaking someone's heart, Annie. She knew exactly what she was saying. If she really loved me, she wouldn't have done that to me."

She sighed, "Honey, I don't know what to say to that, but I can tell you that if she didn't love you, she wouldn't have spent all night with Jose Cuervo and begged me to talk to you. Max, she needs you."

I pulled myself away from Annie, sinking my paw-like hands into the pockets of my jacket. I turned where I stood, glaring at her firmly. "Then she can come and tell me that herself. I'm sick of being the one chasing after her all the time."

"Well you'll have to get your feline hide inside unless you want your girlfriend to be a popsicle. And if she does come to talk to you, just let her talk, things are bound to come out wrong, just let her talk it through."

I snorted. "That's if she turns up at all. I'd be thoroughly surprised if she did." Part of me wished upon wish that she did, but I slapped it around and told it to fuck off and stop ruining my bad mood. "Seeya An."

"Take the cookies, and try to have a little faith."

I grabbed the cookies and stalked off. To be honest, Sarah's words had shattered the fragile faith that I had left after becoming a mutant. It was going to be a very long night.


poster: Jen

Posted on:9:42 am on Oct. 7, 2002

Sarah speaks!

When I finally awoke, it was dark. I took a shower, scrubbing the stench of sweat and tequila from my skin, letting the hot water clear my mind as it cleaned my skin. I didn’t know what I was going to say to Max. Didn’t know what I could say. Words and I don’t get along too well, but waltzing into his room and stripping off my clothes probably wasn’t going to fix this. Might make things better for a few hours, but in the end, things would just be worse. No. I was going to have to talk and tell him stuff I’ve never told anyone before and hope he doesn’t send me packing again.

He was in his room. Brooding and angry, smelling of hurt… and chocolate chip cookies. I hoped that he would listen to my apologies and explanations - and that I didn’t choke on the most important words.

He wrenched the door open before I could knock and from the look on his face, he was not going to make this easy on me.

“I’m sorry for what I said. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t true.” I wasn’t going to ask to come in. That smacked of begging.

“Ok. Goodnight.” He moved to shut the door in my face, but I was prepared for that and had a foot inside the frame before he could slam it. “You have something else? I thought we said everything last night.”

“I deserved that. I’m sorry I said those things. You were right. I was afraid.”

Max folded his arms across his chest. “Afraid of what?”

“Those words give you power. Power to hurt. I don’t want to be hurt anymore.”



“If you think I’d hurt you then there really isn’t any point in this.”

“If I said those words…” I took a deep breath. “If I say them you’ll leave me or throw me away like everyone else I’ve ever said them to. So I attacked first,” I smiled wanly. “It’s immature and it’s stupid, but it’s what I’m good at. It keeps – it’s kept me from getting hurt. You were right I didn’t care about other people. I cared about me. I had to. I was the only one who did. And then I come here and everything’s different. You all expect me to be all happy and open and – you know what – that doesn’t happen overnight. I thought I was getting better. More like what you wanted. I’m making friends. I’m not hitting first. I’m trying to talk, but it wasn’t enough for you. The minute you decided I that I couldn’t ever be the doting, head-over-heels in love with you girlfriend you wanted, because I couldn’t say what you wanted to hear, you didn’t want me anymore.”

I was on a roll now, part of me know I should stop, that I should just shut up, but I needed to say this stuff. I needed him to understand what I thought, how I felt, what I needed. “Annie said the hugs and the affectionate stuff outside the bedroom is because we mean more to each other that just the sex. You know what? I think it’s a load of crap. I think you do it because you think you’re supposed to. Just like you think I’m supposed to say those words because you do. ‘I love you’ is real easy for you to say. You grew up hearing it. You expect it. I learned those words come with a price. You have to be perfect to be worthy of them and I’m not. Never have been; never will be. I’m tired of trying to earn it and failing. I thought… I thought with you I didn’t have to earn it. With you it was just there. But that wasn’t true, was it? I had to earn it; I had to say them back.”

I didn’t bother to swipe at the tears. It didn’t matter anymore. “We had a deal. You said it was enough. It wasn’t going to be forever. I thought you knew that. I was getting more comfortable. I wasn’t freaking out when you said it to me anymore. I thought it was ok. I thought you understood. I thought you would wait. But then you up and change the rules. You don’t get to do that. You don’t. You said it was ok. You said it wasn’t important. You lied to me. You don’t get to play the wounded party here.”

“You’re making this my fault?! That’s rich. Was that so hard? Really? Is saying ‘I love you’ such a chore?”

“Would you rather I said it easily? Used those words to get what I wanted? I could have. I could have said them right back and you’d have believed me because you wanted to believe. But because I didn’t ever want you to feel manipulated or controlled or used I didn’t. Being honest with you was important to me, because I thought maybe – just maybe – you understood what * who* I really was. But you don’t.

“You say ‘I love you’ like you’re sure. How can you be so sure? How do you know you love me? You don’t know me. If you did, you wouldn’t have backed me into a corner like that. You would have known about all the hours I spend in the greenhouse and I wouldn’t have had to say something for you to realize we never go anywhere like other ‘couples’. What’s my favorite color? What’s my favorite sport? Where would I like to go on a trip? What’s my favorite treat? Why the tattoos of fire? Huh, Max? You don’t know. You don’t know ‘cause you never asked. It didn’t matter to you.”

"You know it wasn't really about 'I love you' or commitment, okay? It was about you willingly hurting me. It sounds like you're pretty unsatisfied with this relationship, so why don't I just save us both the hassle and close this door now."

“You haven’t heard a word I said, but I guess you’re right – it doesn’t matter anymore. I do love you and I know it’s too late. I’ll speak to Xavier and have him find me another school or just someplace else for me to go. I’ll be out of your hair in a few days. I’m sorry.”

He stepped forward then, paw-like hand reaching for mine. "No."

“I can’t stay here.”

He sighed, taking my hand and trying to pull me in. "This has gone too far. We're going to sort this out, okay? I don't want you losing the first place that's treated you properly and..." He looked conflicted. "I don't want to lose you."

I let him pull me in. I didn’t want to leave, but if this couldn’t be worked out, I wouldn’t have a choice.

(Edited by Jen at 10:20 am on Oct. 7, 2002)


poster: Allison

Posted on:12:14 am on Oct. 10, 2002

I eyed the clock as I flipped my grilled cheese sandwich. I felt kind of bad; Cam had probably been all alone down in the lab for a few hours now. I didn’t mean to stay away so long but after talking with Max I was tempted to knock his head in to make him see straight, or anyone else who got in my way.

So, I took off running around the grounds trying to relieve the stress, of course I was wearing boots so my feet were aching. I had to limp back to the house and into my room for a shower. Angelica was dead to the world, so I ran a nice long hot bath instead, not worrying about the noise.

Sam wandered into the kitchen, “Annie, you’re here!”

“No, I’m really not; this is a holographic replica,” I sighed, “Of course I’m here.”

He grinned, “I just figured you’d be down in the med lab. Scott wanted me to give you this, you missed mail call.”

He handed me a small package, “Oh, and tell Cammo congratulations for me, would you? It’ll be great having him out on the team with the rest of us.”

I hardly glanced at the box before my eyes shot up, “The rest of you? Team?”

“Yeah, he’s a full fledged X-man now!”

“That’s….” insanely incredibly stupid, “nice.”

“Isn’t it though,” Sam didn’t seem to notice my lack enthusiasm as he reached for a bottle of water in the fridge. “Well, I better get down to training; I’ll talk to you later.”

“See ya,” I said distractedly.

I’m sorry, but am I the only one who remembers why Cameron is down in the med lab right now? He got hurt out there last night and now they want to make him do it MORE? They’re idiots! All of them!

I switched off the stove, grabbed my sandwich and shoved the pan in the sink before storming out of the kitchen. I shoved most of the gooey sandwich into my mouth so I had a free hand to punch in the code Hank gave me so I could get down to the lab.

The elevators are too damn slow; the rest of my sandwich was gone by the time I managed to get out. I stalked into the med lab digging my fingers into the box, Cammo sat up a little when he saw me come in, a smile on his face.

I couldn’t smile back, instead I burst out, “Are you insane?!”


poster: nacey

Posted on: 1:14 pm on Oct. 10, 2002

We'd been sitting there, the air buzzing with tension and anger, for about what felt like half an hour. It was only a few moments at best. We were on other ends of my sitting area, and I hated being like this. I hated us being angry. This couldn't be worse, I think. She mentioned me changing the rules again. I just didn't get that.

"Since when did a relationship have rules?" I muttered out aloud.

She let out a huff. "Everything has rules."

"If there was a rule that said, 'Sarah doesn't have to ever say 'I love you', ever' decided upon, I must have missed it," I said. "I don't mind waiting for you to get round to the idea that we're in a relationship, and as such we're supposed to have feelings for each other, but the whole, 'let's see how badly I can break Max's heart in as few words possible because he put me in a stick situation' thing is just not cool, you know?"

Compared to before, we were being downright civil to each other, I think.

"I'm sorry I said that. I get mad and... stuff just comes out."

I sighed and nodded. "You know... you know I don't expect stuff from you, don't you?" I gulped. "And I don't know everything about you yet... but I'm really enjoying finding out."

She just stared at me, doubt ringing in her eyes.

I gave another sigh. "Look, how are we going to fix this up if you don't believe me when I tell you how I'm feeling? Cause it's certainly making things harder."

"You do expect stuff from me and... it really hurt for me to realize that you don't know anything about me. It was like it didn't matter who - like I didn 't matter."

"I don't," I said, "I really, really don't. And as far as knowing things about you -" I pressed my lips together and looked as frazzled as I was feeling. "Well... Every time you get up, you always run. You always seem so happy after a run. And your favourite pair of pants are those cute black cargo pants you always wear. They smell like you the most. And whenever we go to dinner, if there's a food you pick out the most it's macaroni and cheese." I gulped and kept with it. "And when we fall asleep together, you always curl up against me, and put your face on my chest. And I love it. I love all those things."

Sarah blinked. "Really? You noticed all that? About me?"

"Yeah, of course," he said. "I've been in love with you ... let's see... four months, one week and five days."

Sarah grinned. "Not that you're counting."

I had to grin now. Relief was spreading into my limbs without my control (not that I'd want to control it). "No, not at all."

"I'm sorry I'm such a pain."

"Don't be silly," I said, getting up and standing in the middle of the room. "You're not a pain. You had legitimate reasons to be upset you know, and I should have come and told you what was going on. I'm really sorry I didn't."

"I really was having a nice time the other night."

"So was I," I said. I looked about myself and then back to her. "Can this be over now? Cause I've been missing you like crazy."

"Me too. I - " She looked down at her shoes, "do love you and I'm sorry I couldn't say it before."

I am a right-ass pansy. You know why? Because right at that moment tears burst from my eyes and I started sniffling like a baby. Wolverine would be so ashamed. I rubbed at my eyes fervently and looked to her apologetically. "Sorry..." I fought with a sob, and so my voice was a twisted mess. "I 's just scared we'd broken up..."

"Me too. I - I was afraid I'd have to leave."

"Not if I had anything to do with it," I said. I gave a little smile. "So are we gonna hug or what?"

"I guess." Sarah grinned. "I was rather interested in the 'or what' myself."

Without restraint I leapt over to her, growling happily, spinning her in my arms and collapsing onto my bed. I kissed her like I'd never kissed her before; it wasn't fuelled just by lust, but with a binding, heart-clenching love that seemed stronger than I'd ever felt it before. Things were changing between us, but in the most wonderful, world-altering way. "I love you, Sarah," I sighed, but I said it differently than I'd ever said it before. Maybe she was right. Maybe I said it, and didn't really get what those words meant. Right now, I said it, and the words resounded within me with a meaning that humbled me and made me feel like a God at the exact same time. I didn't expect her to respond, and I didn't care if she did or if she didn't. All that mattered was that she was in my arms again, and things were okay.

OOC: One two three... awww!


poster: cammogirl

Posted on: 5:18 pm on Oct. 13, 2002

It was the absolute angriest I had ever seen her. There was real fear blazing in her eyes again. I tried to sit up a little, but my chest still hurt, and I winced. Damn. I laid back and sighed, looking worried for Annie's state.

"Uhm... hello?"

"I don't know what they were thinking, do they not see where you are right now?" she exclaimed, seemingly ignoring my greeting.

I frowned, trying to figure out what she was talking about. "Is this about me being on the team now?"

"Yes! The reason you're in the middle of the med lab right now is because of the goddamn TEAM!"

Shit. She was in panic-mode. I tried to sit up again. "Annie... because I'm hurt, does that mean I suddenly have to stop being on the team?"

She paused, "I don't want you hurt anymore."

I offered her my hand. "Come here..."

She sat down on the edge of the ward bed and took my hand.

"I can't lie to you. Being an X-Man is really risky business, and there's no guarantee that I'll not get hurt badly again." I licked my lips then and went on. "But I'm not a front-combat X-Man, you know? I'm not like Wolverine or Jean or Rogue or Cyclops - their mutations are good for defense and assault." I shrugged. "Mine isn't. They only call me in in case of severe emergency... severe. That rarely happens." I looked over myself and smiled to her. "I'm sort of their spy-guy, you know? I go where they can't and hear what they need to hear. That's all."

She picked at the tape on the box of latex gloves she was holding, before looking up, "So you're double-oh-Cammo?"

I nodded, a wry grin coming to my face. "Exactly. Boff-per-movie not included, of course."

She grinned, "Bet your ass its not included."

I grinned, relief flooding me. "So... you're not upset with me?"

"I was never upset... Scared shitless, yes, but not mad or anything."

I nodded. "Right. Wanna make a deal?"

"What kind of deal?"

I narrowed my eyes at her affectionately. "Every time I finish a mission, every time I come home - the first thing I do is tell you I'm okay."

"You know that requires you being conscious, if you can manage that, I won't lock you in a tower or anything."

I laughed. "Okay - subset of main deal - that if I am unconscious, but otherwise fine, I make sure team-mate comes and reports of my condition."

I squeazed his hand, "Deal."

"Great!" I said. I wiggled my brows then. "Wanna seal that with a kiss?"

"Contract couldn't be finalized otherwise."

"Well, you're going to have to come to me, cause my chest still hurts." I tried to look as mournful as possible.

She leaned down, "Princess."

I scoffed, but it was smothered in her kiss, and I sighed deeply. Aaah, this was just what I needed. Thank God for Annie.


poster: Jen

Posted on: 9:16 pm on Oct. 13, 2002

Logan came into the weight room soon after me. We grunted ‘good mornings’ at each other and jumped into to our workouts. I wasn’t much for chatting while I was in the gym and I got the feeling he wasn’t either. We had been at it for a while when he finally said something. I knew I’d be facing discipline for my binge the other night, but he either doesn’t know (which I seriously doubt) or he’s taking a page from The Professor’s sneaky-as-hell guilt inducing parenting book.

“You wouldn’t know who got into the Professor’s liquor cabinet the other night, would you?” Logan asked, reseating the heavy bar after a long set.

And it is the guilt trip. Great. Less likely to get me saying crap I shouldn’t, but really really uncomfortable. “It was me, sir.” I confessed, sighing. “So what’s it gonna be? More infirmary time?”

“First, I wanna know why.”

“Why does it matter, sir? I took something that didn’t belong to me.”

“The ‘why’ always matters, Sarah. Like why was Annie cleaning up a broken tequila bottle and why Max was sulking outside most of yesterday.”

“Annie’s a friend and,” I added a bit sheepishly, “I was in no condition to clean up my mess.”

Logan chucked. “She must be a good one. I bet it took a fair amount of scrubbing to get that smell out of the carpet. Still doesn’t give me the why.”

A lie wasn’t going to work, even if I were inclined to try one. “Max and I had a big fight and he said he didn’t want to see me anymore so I tried to drown my sorrows.”

Logan lay back to start another set. “Two and a half bottle of tequila drowns a lot of sorrows. I prefer whiskey myself, but, as you know, that gets expensive.”

Ha ha. Very funny.

“I take it you and Max patched things up.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you’ll be paying for the tequila by this evening.”

“Yes, sir.”

Logan cocked an eyebrow. “You say anything else, princess.”

I gave him a cheeky grin in return. “Yes, sir.”

He chuckled and wiped off with a towel. “Class is at 3.”

“Uh sir.” I bit my lip. I really didn’t’ want to bring this up, lest Logan find out about my ‘accident’. I doubt Logan will be nearly as relaxed about that as he was about a bit of boozing over a broken heart. “You’ll need to reactivate my codes, sir. I was restricted from the lower levels when you left.”

“That have anything to do with your ‘accident’?” he asked, pinning me with his gaze. “McCoy promised he wouldn’t talk about that – to anyone,” I spat. “He had no right.”

“Hank didn’t. Jeannie filled me in.”

“Bitch.”

"Now don't talk that way about Jeannie, she was just the first to tell me. Someone woulda done so eventually, I'm hoping you would've."

“Why? So you could give me the ‘life is precious’ lecture?”

"McCoy give you that one?"

“Yeah. Sorta. With a chorus of ‘things always seem worse than they really are’.”

“That wasn’t the first time you tried to kill yourself.”

“No, but…”

“But?”

I couldn’t look at him, ashamed that I was this weak, this inept. That I couldn’t do this one little thing. “I thought it might work. Nothing else has.”

"But it didn't work."

“Maybe it just wasn’t cold enough.”

"Maybe, or maybe the people who care about you found you and brought you back."

“We back to that again?” I snapped and immediately cringed. This is exactly what got me in trouble with Max the other day. “Sorry. People caring whether I live or die is still pretty new to me.”

Logan shrugged. "It takes some getting used to."

“How long did it take you to get used to all of this? To fit in?” I asked, afraid I was going to hear that this was going to take years – assuming I was even capable of that kind of thing.

"Dunno. A while I guess. I also left the country for a year or so, but that's not an option for you."

“You sure? Cause I could go for a bit of time in the Islands. Fiji maybe.”

"Maybe over spring break, kid."

“Winter break’d be even better, sir.” I chanced a smile. Someplace warm, even for a few days would be great. I was this stir crazy and it was only October. I was going to be a freaking loon by February.

“I’ll think about it,princess. Get to class.”

(Edited by Jen at 10:27 pm on Oct. 13, 2002)


poster: Amezri

Posted on: 6:47 pm on Oct. 14, 2002

"Kurt, get out of the way!" Jean shouted, dashing at break-neck speed towards Cassandrea's bed. Cassie's vitals had been stable since the day she was brought back to Xavier's after the fight in Massachusetts. Neither Hank nor Jean dared guarantee that Cassie would come out of her coma, but Professor Xavier had outlined a very specific procedure for when she did.

Sluggish from lack of sleep, Kurt looked on as Jean removed him from Cassandrea's side. All around him, monitors blinked and beeped. "What's going on? Where are you taking her? Is she okay?"

Jean ignored him, double-checking vitals and reading monitors. {Professor, she's waking up. Are you sure this is the way to handle this?}

{Yes, Jean. We can't take the chance.}

{Understood.} "Hank, we need to get her to the isolation cell. Now!"

"Isolation cell? Wait a minute," Kurt growled. "She's coming out of her coma and you're throwing her in that box?" He moved to stop the two doctors. "I won't let you!"

"There is no other choice, Kurt," Hank sighed, a sad tone in his voice. He wasn't any happier about this idea, but the Professor was right. There was no way to know how much of Emma's control remained over the young lady. This was the only logical course of action.

After a brief struggle with Kurt, Hank and Jean managed to get Cassandrea into the isolation cell before she was completely conscious. The room was a 9 foot by 9 foot square, with one wall clear, bullet-proof glass. The ventilation system had been modified so that even in liquid form, Cassie would not be able to escape.

"What... what's going on?" Cassie said weakly from the bed in the otherwise empty box. "Kurt?"

"I'm here, zauberin," he said quietly, placing his hand against the glass.

"Kurt... I..." Her words trailed off. She had almost done it - almost apologized for the horrible things she had done. Cassie sat up on the bed, on the brink of tears. "I'm okay. Tell them.. tell Jean to let me out. Please Kurt. I'm.. I'm okay. Emma's gone."

Kurt grabbed Jean's arm. "Let her out. You heard her, Doktor. Emma's no longer controlling her."

Cassie stepped towards the glass, leaning against the cold surface. "Let me out..."

"We can't be sure," Jean said, wrenching her arm free. "I still can't scan her mind. Something's blocking me."

"I'm better now..."

"That doesn't prove anything!" Kurt hissed.

"Please..."

Jean glowered at him. "Exactly. It doesn't prove that she's clean, either."

She began pounding on the glass. "Let me out! Let me out of here!"

"Cassandrea, stop, you're going to hurt yourself!"

"Ms. Reina, please calm down!"

Cassandrea's eyes glowed red in rage. "Not until you let me out of here, you red-headed bitch!" She morphed into her liquid form, darting around the confined space. Reshaping herself into a human figure, she snarled and clawed at the glass. "You will release me and you will release me now!"

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